Mia Familia

I used to be a loner when I met Jim.  I hated having people in my space - period.  An hour or two and then...Get Out!  *shady giggle*  I have since been inspired...two people in the past year have helped me change my mind.  My friends/neighbor have had a little girl that is just TOO precious for words to describe.  She is always smiling.  Her eyes are intrigued by every single thing without fail.  Jim's cousin came over with her fam recently and it gave me a glimpse of something I rarely get to see...a happy family.  They love each other in a real way.  In a way that makes your heart warm just being in the room with them.  They have their inside jokes you feel special if you get.  They having matching Rock Band pj's...they just love each other.  I love love.  I love people that love deeply and honestly.  I am beyond appreciative for these two groups of people that have shown me what can be possible in my life....

Emotional

I have been feeling really emotional the past few days.  It vacillates between of homicidality and tears.  Not my favorite two emotions for sure.  This tells me that my hormones are all off again but allows me to logically know in my heart that I am not nuts.  It is purely a temporary condition.  I hate crying everyday.  Yesterday it was General Stanley McChrystal, the increased amount of oil pouring into our gulf, Open Office, BP stiffing people out of their money causing them to lose their cars/homes/sanity, our car accident case, and our checking account.  I remember one night when Jim and I lived in the condo in Palm Harbor (I always recall things by residences since I have had 21).  We walked next door to Publix for an odd or an end and we sat on the curb by the parking lot.  I told Jim that I just HATE watching the news...it makes me SO sad and SO concerned and it deeply affects me as a person.  I feel the need to do something--anything to help well, everyone.  I stopped watching the news for a long time.  Like chatting with my Dad, I just could not take subjecting myself to it over and over again.  Why set yourself up like that?  I think part of the issue though is my inability to process things from afar like other people.  When my hormones and emotions are having a "free for all" I just have to check myself.  Now that I have a diagnosis (finally) and increased insight this makes the check easier....a little.  I pray for Dawn and her mom that has a brain crawling with cancer.  I pray for the General to find peace and a new path.  I pray for my new Bahamian friends that are going to lose 100% of their livelihood when the oil hits their island.  I pray for my current lawyer to get hit in the jaw by my past neighbor/lawyer if nothing else.  Prayer allows the burden to go back to Him...after all, He is the one with the answers!

happy thoughts:(underwater camera)

:)

I am itching to get another tat to honor my love of yoga.  I told Jim and he groaned and grumbled.  I'm just thinking of my foot, geez!  I really wouldn't mind getting it across my chest, under my neck but don't worry everyone--I won't. *sigh*

Learning

Is there an easy way to learn?  Reading?  Sitting in front of someone lecturing?  Doing something yourself?

I have this convo with the hubby last nite....HTML.  Who knew?  Who knew it was there?  Who knew it was so complicated?  It is like going to Disney World, there are many people "behind the scenes" that make everything the way we see it.  HOWEVER, we don't always know about those people or their actions.  HTML is little symbols and letters that makes what we see on the computer screen.  I NEVER knew this!  Then I think I can handle this junk!  I mean, if ole girl with a GED can master it I can right?  If teenagers can do it so can I!  Um...I think :)  Stay tuned.

Shoot Me! Shoot Me!

Being a photographer is a P.I.T.A.!  I mean REALLY......

As a little person it can be challenging.  Cameras are heavy.  Lenses are heavy.  Or, maybe you just are not tall enough to get the shot.

It is a LOT of pressure....pressure to get the right shot.  Pressure to get the shots organized on your multiple computers off your multiple cameras.  Pressure to get them to all your friends and family before the next holiday or event.  Pressure to keep up with technology.  Pressure to always have the camera with you.

Then, there are the friends that don't want you to tag them in your shots because they are not currently happy with their appearance.  There is the responsibility of remembering who those friends are and at what points in their lives they don't want to be tagged.

Additionally, it is a challenge always being the bad guy.  No one likes their pic taken and people get grumpy if your flash goes off more than once.

Longing is a real problem too....longing to learn the equipment, longing to be good, longing to work for National Geographic year after year.....*sniffle*.  Even longing to get an accurate business card, web site, or portfolio.

OCD and photography do not get along.  You want the newest pic all the time posted here, or there.  It is exasperating I tell you.  Especially exasperating when life moves so fast!

Christmas Day 2009

Gratefulness

What I am grateful for....

Puppies

Nothing makes you smile bigger or longer!  My new little friend is soft as a cloud and I can bury my face in his fluff and beam with joy.

My husband

For not killing me when I brought home the above puppy.  He is sweet and understanding and I sure do love him!

Cucumbers and basil

All the work of planting and watering this spring's garden and bugs eat 75% of it.  My yummy basil and cucumbers keep me going sanely.

(instead of digging it all out and throwing it over the cliff to the

creek)

Family

I'm so glad to be able to go to Tampa and visit my fam this weekend.

Green Day Rock Band

I'm not a huge Rock Band fan *clearing throat and scoffing* but the new game has tickled my fancy.  I just pray to not end up hating Green Day by September *puts palms together and gazes to sky*