HOW CAN THIS BE?

How can it be that I have never checked out the fabulous store Anthropologie?!  This suddenly feels like my biggest sin since birth!  There are too many awesome things in so many awesome categories!  There is a ton of cheerful scented soaps Mmmm look with clever names.  My fav thus far is this bathmat..  Lookie <3  The items are nature and zen and beauty all wrapped up!  Look at this amazing bed... Lookie  I have been looking for curtains since I moved in last May and here are too many to choose from! Lookie <3 Are ya'll in love half as much as me?  Looks like I'm going to have to update my fav things list.  I <3 window shopping..... :)

Out ta Here

I had my first phone interview with Ryan Robinson at HCL.  This is a company that hires for the UK.  They specialize in Social Care.  I hope, I hope, I hope.  With everything in the bottom of my soul to the top.  It would be a dream come true.  A new dream not an old dream.  Sometimes dreams are dreams for so long that they are goofy when you get them.  I rode the smelly, ornery, horse.  I could not walk for DAYS.  All I did was see $$.  I laughed.  I turned it in for a new dream ; )

Thoughts

I went to Tampa this weekend.  It takes me a day to collect my thoughts.  There is so much involved.  There is no just going there.  It is an event.  With my grandparents every second has to be preplanned.  Every meal has to be prearranged.  Every bed in the house has to be remade in case I may want to sleep in a different one.  I have to put on the armor.  I used to have to be on my toes about Heather as I heard 50 times each month "Why isn't she going to live with her mother?"  Since then the question, well actually the comment is "When are you going to grow your hair long?  You used to look pretty.  That was your crowning glory!"  That vacillates now between "You are SO FAT!  You don't even look like yourself!  Don't you ever stand naked in the mirror and see how disgustingly repulsive you look?!"  Of course all of this hot mess is followed by......are you ready?........you'll never guess....."Why don't you come over more often?  I never see you anymore."  AHHHHHHHH

I'll tell you one thing...I am sure glad that I was never overweight when I was younger or I would be a HOT MESS!  I am also glad I am a strong, confident woman or I would probably be sporting my long, frizzy hair unhappily or even worse be trying to grow it out. : O

Of course this is only my side of the visit.  It won't even go on about the in-laws.  That is it's own separate craziness.

So...I have been on and off of medications for my back since around 2004.  They have caused alleviation of pain but caused turmoil in every other area of my life.  March 8th is a special day for many reasons and I have  chosen that day to stop taking all of these medications for good.  No more Percocet, Norco, Opana, Morphine, Hydrocodone, Avinza.  Hopefully, here will be a start of a new chapter.  I have started on small little pill once a day that will control my pain and allow me to stop completely if and when I wish to which is very important to me.  I had to drive all the way to Tampa to get the doc and script as I have been trying to get a doc here to no avail.  I think I live in the sticks sometimes!  That is fine...I get a two for one coming to Tampa.  The transition was nearly perfect yesterday.  I  couldn't have asked for better.  Jim brought home Chinese for dinner :)  He is awesome to me...very supportive and I appreciate it.  Well I guess that is it for now....  I'll try to end on a good note.